Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize