If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
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I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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