some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize