sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize