lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize