why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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