Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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