Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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