Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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