You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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