Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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