someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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