But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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