Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
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He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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