apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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