I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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