Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize