last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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