Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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