Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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