I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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