Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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