Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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