So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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