Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
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I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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