take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize