and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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