I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize