How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize