just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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