Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
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Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I had to cum in my sink.
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