They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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