Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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