Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize