my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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