One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize