After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
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Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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