I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
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I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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