Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You took a bar mat shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize