guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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