Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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