I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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