the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize