how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize