Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize