When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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