I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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