Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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