they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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