At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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